your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
