is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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