Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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