There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
