there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
