margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
