I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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