We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
