And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
