GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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