Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
