I want to stick my p in your. b.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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