South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
