a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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