I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
