yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
