I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
