I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
