there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
