He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
don't judge my taste in strippers
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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