I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize