Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
honey bunches of taint.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
