I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
only if we run a train.
done.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just high enough for therapy.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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