is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
