She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
