Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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