love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
