Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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