so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize