What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i will never coherently bang her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
