somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We have started to decorate penises.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
