Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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