i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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