she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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