just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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