There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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