i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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