I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
