Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
