He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
