I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
