She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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