my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
