I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
