he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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