i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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