Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
