i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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