We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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