The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
