I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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