It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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