I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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