Kiss
Puke
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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