Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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