Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
