i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
