id be glad to
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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