Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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