marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
