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Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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