Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
